And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose? Not a word. You never hear them say "Jesus made me drop the ball." "The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage." According to these guys Jesus is undefeated, meanwhile these assholes are in last place. Must be another one of those "miracles."

Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time.

A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.

The best thing about living at the water's edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.

For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label.

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense? What year did Jesus think it was?

If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's, it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence.