I always have these little internal monologues. You'll get used to them.
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
Life is not that complicated.
My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me.
Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.
It's harder to be funny from the position of power.