I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.

O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point.

When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.

The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.

Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.

Sometimes, after I'd gone at the coke like one of those snow plows moving up First Avenue, I'd think my heart was over on the dresser, pounding, and I was watching it. I asked some of the doctors who drifted through the intensive-care unit what kind of effect total cocaine abuse has on the heart and they said things like, "Well, there's not enough valid information...." That kind of answer.