Early in my career I was divided because I had the real self underneath: the lawbreaker, the anarchist, the person who swims against the tide, the outsider, the loner, all of that guy. He was my private self, and I had this other side that wanted to be liked in order to do all those things I dreamed of as a little boy. I didn't realize that those things didn't go together until later. And I'm quite sure that my use of acid and peyote helped me accept what was really going on inside of me instead of what I had imposed on myself.
George CarlinOne good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
George CarlinIf lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?
George CarlinWhen Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.
George CarlinPeople say life begins at conception, I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process.
George Carlin