If a drug has anything going for it at all, it should be self-limiting. It should tell you when you've had enough.

Why is there such controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who'd be willing to test any drug they can come up with.

Let's suppose we all just materialized on Earth and there was a bunch of potatoes on the ground, okay? There's just six of us. Only six humans. We come into a clearing and there's potatoes on the ground. Now, my instinct would be, let's everybody get some potatoes. "Everybody got a potato? Joey didn't get a potato! He's small, he can't hold as many potatoes. Give Joey some of your potatoes." "No, these are my potatoes!" That's the Republicans. "I collected more of them, I got a bigger pile of potatoes, they're mine. If you want some of them, you're going to have to give me something."

Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?

As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.

I actually was a writer who had the ability to perform his own work as opposed to a comedian who wrote his own material. So that really made me happy and changed my whole perspective.

For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.