Everything that you know about yourself comes from thinking back, and I think I saw religion as the first big betrayal of me.

What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.

I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in.

Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!

I don't like the phrase shock value. Surprise is essential in comedy, and if people are shocked by what I consider merely surprising, then that's their shock. But there is no joke without surprise.

If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species.