"Fussy eater" is a euphemism for "big pain in the ass."

Never get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing a hat that has more than three pastel colors.

Grass probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer. When you're high, it's easy to kid yourself about how clever certain mediocre pieces of material are. But, on the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.

When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?

There are only two types of motorists: the idiots who drive slower than me, and the lunatics who go faster.

If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's, it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence.

Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence.