"Fussy eater" is a euphemism for "big pain in the ass."

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Barry Goldwater has definitely decided to be a candidate in '64. He will campaign in all thirteen states.

Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.

Most of the time people feel okay. Probably it's because at the moment they're not actually dying.

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?