You know something I could really do without? The Space Shuttle. ... It's irresponsible. The last thing we should be doing is sending our grotesquely distorted DNA out into space.

Heart disease has changed my eating habits, but I still cook bacon for the smell.

Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh..apologiz e..let go of what you can't change.

One great thing about getting old is that you can get out of all sorts of social obligations just by saying you're too tired.

A lot of the people who keep a gun at home for safety are the same ones who refuse to wear a seat belt

Language is the most elementary aspect to our humanness, probably. In addition to that, it's the embodiment, it's the apotheosis of the human experience, it's the way we summarize ourselves.

To me, fast food is when a cheetah eats an antelope.