I believe you can joke about anything.

I set out to become a comedian, and I said in order to do that the first thing I'll do is become a disc jockey and know my pop music. I like it, my voice is good, and I can start out getting confidence without an audience in front of me.

The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

A crumb is a great thing: If you break a crumb in half, you don't get two half-crumbs, you get two crumbs. Doesn't that violate some law of physics?

The owner of a Florida massage parlor has been arrested by police. "There weren't any serious violations," said the officers, "she just rubbed us the wrong way."

It's the American view that everything has to keep climbing: productivity, profits, even comedy.