A crumb is a great thing: If you break a crumb in half, you don't get two half-crumbs, you get two crumbs. Doesn't that violate some law of physics?

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

When you visualize the recent past, do you see it as being somewhere over on the left?

In the doggie dictionary, under "bow wow" it says, "See "arf arf.""

I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.