Comedy, I figured, was the thing that came to me the most easily. Playing the trumpet and piano took practice. I thought that was a waste of time. I'd go out on the street corner and be funny. In a minute.
George CarlinWe now buy watches primarily for their looks, price, or additional functions. The fact that they tell time seems lost.
George CarlinBarry Goldwater has definitely decided to be a candidate in '64. He will campaign in all thirteen states.
George CarlinThere are an awful lot of things in the cut of street drugs that eventually make you sick. I reached a point where the skin around the edges of my fingernails used to hurt all the time. And it would peel away easily. Now, that must have been from some poison in the cut.
George Carlin