It's the American view that everything has to keep climbing: productivity, profits, even comedy.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.

Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

I am a personal optimist but a skeptic about all else. What may sound to some like anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for its destruction. And please don't confuse my point of view with cynicism; the real cynics are the ones who tell you everything's gonna be all right.

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.