The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

I don't think we really gave barbarism a fair try.

Somebody once said that Hollywood is based on a lot of producers deliberately making bad movies, and every now and then somebody gets lucky.

Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

I go to bed early; my favorite dream comes on at nine.