As you swim the river of live, do the breast stroke. It helps to clear the turds from your path.
George CarlinI'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.
George CarlinI don`t understand a belief that there is an invisible being in the sky who watches over us all the time and keeps score and who throws you in a burning pit. I think that's very limiting, very antihuman. It's the way they devised for helping to control people because if they can make you believe in an invisible man who's going to hurt you later, they can make you believe anything!
George Carlin