So I say, โLive and let live.โ Thatโs my motto. โLive and let live.โ And anyone who canโt go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. Itโs a simple philosophy, but itโs always worked in our family.
George CarlinIf I ever lose my mind I hope some honest person will find it and take it to Lost and Found.
George CarlinThe more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.
George CarlinMost of the note-taking happens while I'm watching television. It's a broad window on the world, and a lot of things are already established in my mind as things I say, things that I'm interested in, things that are fodder for my [stand-up] machine. And when I see something that relates to one of them, I know it instantly and if it's a further exaggeration and a further addition, or an exception - if it plays into furthering my purpose, I jot it down.
George Carlin