Religion cruelly exploits our need to feel connected.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.

And what can we do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus whenever they win, never mention his name when they lose? Not a word. You never hear them say "Jesus made me drop the ball." "The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage." According to these guys Jesus is undefeated, meanwhile these assholes are in last place. Must be another one of those "miracles."

To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped and filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced military and civilian radar operators.>>.

The best thing about living at the water's edge: You only have assholes on three sides of you, and if they come this way you can hear them splash.