Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.
The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid.
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Do you remember Barbara Bush? I call her the silver douchebag.
Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet.
Somewhere in the world is a doctor who is worse than all other doctors...and someone has an appointment with him in the morning.