The radio ad "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake!

We created god in our own image and likeness!

O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.

Test of Metal: Will of Iron, Nerves of Steel, Heart of Gold, Balls of Brass.

I'm offering a special prize for the first Buick on the moon.

There was about a two-year period at the end of the '60s, when I realized I was in the wrong place and entertaining the wrong people with the wrong material and that I was not being true to myself. I went through a metamorphosis into something more authentic for me, a more authentic stage voice and writing voice.