A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed.

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.

President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.

O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers.

I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.

Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

The whole problem with the world today: private property. If no one owned anything, it would be a lot better. There's even an entire industry devoted to keeping an eye on other people's stuff. This is how stupid it's got. If you decide to get rid of a lot of your stuff, you can give it to a thrift shop or to Goodwill.