Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, "You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala."

It's the old American Double Standard, ya know: Say one thing, do somethin' different. And of course this country is founded on the double standard. That's our history. We were founded on a very basic double standard: This country was founded by slave owners who wanted to be free.

Dogs and cats get put to sleep; hogs and cows get slaughtered.

Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards

Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)

One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.

Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.