When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?

As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

I went to my old school, where all the kids I'd been with for eight years were about to graduate. But the sisters wanted me to repeat the whole term; so I went to the principal and pleaded with her to allow me to graduate with my class. She finally agreed on the condition that I write the graduation play. It was called How Do You Spend Your Leisure Time?Catchy title, huh?

I don't vote. We're led to believe we're free through the exercise of ineffective freedoms.

There's an idea that the human body is somehow evil and bad and there are parts of it that are especially evil and bad, and we should be ashamed. Fear, guilt and shame are built into the attitude toward sex and the body. It's reflected in these prohibitions and these taboos that we have.

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?