Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.

One philosopher has rightly said that property is theft. But I'd like to use my future ownership of property to give something back.

So I say, “Live and let live.” That’s my motto. “Live and let live.” And anyone who can’t go along with that, take him outside and shoot the motherfucker. It’s a simple philosophy, but it’s always worked in our family.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

[On School Uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German.

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.