Flowers are one of the few things we buy, bring home, watch die, and we don't ask for our money back.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

In the Navy, there is no wrong hole. In the Marines, there is always a hole.

The next time a prostitute solicits your business, ask for the clergyman's rate.

I have things that are strident and confrontational, and I have a lot of things that are childlike and innocent and sort of sweet. So, somewhere in between lies the middle of me.

Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.

Never forget that Hitler was a Catholic.