But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

Energy experts have announced the development of a new fuel made from human brain tissue. It's called assohol.

The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.

Suppose I could shoot myself in the mouth, but what if I miss? People will laugh at me.

At 68 I'm every age I ever was. I always think of that. I'm not just 68. I'm also 55 and 21 and three. Oh especially three.

Tonight's forecast: DARK. Continued mostly dark tonight, turning to wildly scattered light in the morning