You can't be the fastest gun in town forever. There comes a time when you're not the golden boy, and you have to go off somewhere and figure yourself out.
George CarlinHeroin, forget it. In my neighborhood, I could see what heroin did firsthand and I was definitely afraid of that number.
George CarlinThere may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
George CarlinI became a guy who wanted to be a comedian someday, or a comic actor. The way I put it was, I'll be like Danny Kaye. He was kind of the model I had in mind.
George CarlinYou take 5 white guys and you take 5 black guys and put em together for a week and what you won't have is 5 blacks guys talking like, 'Golly gee, we really won that big basketball game' but you will have 5 white guys talking like 'Yo slick, whuzzup...we be shootin hoops and mad playin, slammed those mofos
George Carlin