I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand; a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is.

If a lobster didn't look like a sci-fi monster, people would be less able to drop him alive into boiling water.

Baby boomers helped me a great deal in my career. They launched me. They were there for me to sing my song to. And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone, but I think they turned that anti-authority baby boom mentality into their own enemy. Now I identify very closely with their children.

The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.

When something is 'new and improved', which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

When you look at the average American you realize there's nothing nature enjoys more than a good joke.

A dog has no shame. If he can do it, you can watch.