When people say “clean as a whistle”, they forget that a whistle is full of spit.

I never eat sushi. I have trouble eating things that are merely unconscious.

A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed.

As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

I was a class clown, of the classic term for it. I would get the work done easily, and then I would try to deprive other people of their educations. I developed skills for mimicry, and I was a good showoff. I knew how to get attention, and I knew how to do it in a positive funny way.

An entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself. An artist is on a journey: they don't know where they're going, what is going to happen, but they know they are not there yet, and there is some continuity and growth. I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.