There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.

My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.

Government want to tell you things you can't say because they're against the law, or you can't say this because it's against a regulation, or here's something you can't say because its a... secret; "You can't tell him that because he's not cleared to know that." Government wants to control information and control language because that's the way you control thought, and basically that's the game they're in.

When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.

The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.

You know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.

I make fun of people who are religious, because they're fundamentally weak.