If someone loves you and they leave and don't come back, it was never meant to be. If someone loves you and they leave and come back, set them on fire.
George CarlinWhen people asked me, "Do you get high to go onstage?" I could never understand the question. I mean, I'd been high since eight that morning. Going onstage had nothing to do with it.
George CarlinThe IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
George Carlin