As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.
George CarlinFor a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label.
George CarlinOnce you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. Then you're just what they're looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers.
George CarlinAll patriarchal societies are either preparing for war, at war, or recovering from war.
George CarlinMy history of moving away from drugs is not the kind you hear from most people. Certainly not from celebrities, especially those professionally recovering people. What I've noticed in my overuse of cocaine is the period of pleasure versus the period of pain. That is to say that when you first get high on anything, the pleasure is predominant and you don't pay much price. A little hangover or whatever it might be with another drug. But after a while the ratio begins to change, and there' s far more pain in the deal than pleasure. It just completely goes in another direction.
George Carlin