I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share.

I recently bought a book of free verse. For twelve dollars.

Somebody once said that Hollywood is based on a lot of producers deliberately making bad movies, and every now and then somebody gets lucky.

If voting changed anything, it would be illegal.

I have this real moron thing I do? It's called thinking.

Hitler never bothered with restaurant reservations; he just dropped by. And somehow they always found him a table.

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?