Why is there such controversy about drug testing? I know plenty of guys who'd be willing to test any drug they can come up with.

When I see a large group of people, I wonder how many of them will eventually require autopsies.

If two baseball players from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father's, it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence.

In football the object is to march into enemy territory and cross his goal. In baseball the object is to go home.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.

What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.

Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.