How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George CarlinBaseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game. Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.
George CarlinThe patterns became even more vivid at Cardinal Hayes High School. That's when I began failing subjects and running away from home for days at a time.
George CarlinReligion - religion, at best - at BEST - is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it for a while, and it makes you walk straight and feel better - fine. But you don't need it forever, or you can become permanently disabled. Religion is like a lift in the shoe, and I say just don't ask me to wear your shoes. And let's not go down and nail lifts onto the natives' feet.
George Carlin