Life is sacred? Who said so, God? Hey, if you read history you'll realize that God is one of the leading causes of death...has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jews, all taking turns killing each other because God told them it was a good idea.

There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.

It's the American view that everything has to keep climbing: productivity, profits, even comedy.

They mention that it's a nonstop flight. Well, I must say I don't care for that sort of thing. Call me old fashioned, but I insist that my flight stop. Preferably at an airport.

How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?

Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole.

We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.