I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.
George Carlin'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
George CarlinIf you've got a cat and a leg, you've got a happy cat. If you've got a cat and two legs, you've got a party.
George CarlinWhat exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air.
George CarlinThere may or may not be atheists in foxholes, but I'm certain there are none in the Ku Klux Klan.
George CarlinThere is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
George Carlin