The secretiveness. The stealth. Those were obviously the aspects of cocaine use I was addicted to.

President George Bush declared a National Day of Prayer for Peace. This was after he had carefully arranged and started the war.

You don’t see many of these white anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uterus’s, do you? No, you don’t see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? No, that might be something Christ would do.

It used to be cars had cool names: Dart, Hawk, Fury, Cougar, Firebird, Hornet, Mustang, Barracuda. Now we have Elantra, Altima, Acura, Lumina, Sentra, Corolla, Maxima, Tercel. Further proof that America has lost its edge.

I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

I was looking in the mirror the other day and I realized I haven't changed much since I was in my twenties. The only difference is I look a whole lot older now.