Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

The following statement is true. The previous statement is false.

Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.

How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?

Movies and television don't make you violent; all they do is channel the violence more creatively.