The Human Species could have been great but instead we became satisfied with lights on our tennis shoes.

The secret of success is doing something you love, doing it well and being recognized for it

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.

Little-known fact: When the stock exchange closes, the guy who comes out on the balcony with that big hammer slams it on the head of the person who lost the most money that day.

Avoid people with gold teeth who want to play cards

I'm in shape. Round is a shape.