Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.

In the United States, anybody can be President. That's the problem.

When I hear a person talking about political solutions, I know I am not listening to a serious person.

I look at it this way... For centuries now, man has done everything he can to destroy, defile, and interfere with nature: clear-cutting forests, strip-mining mountains, poisoning the atmosphere, over-fishing the oceans, polluting the rivers and lakes, destroying wetlands and aquifers... so when nature strikes back, and smacks him on the head and kicks him in the nuts, I enjoy that. I have absolutely no sympathy for human beings whatsoever. None. And no matter what kind of problem humans are facing, whether it's natural or man-made, I always hope it gets worse.

These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless people.

If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it?

For a long time, I've distinguished between entertainer and performer and entertainer and artist. To me, an entertainer is someone who pleases others, and an artist tries to please himself.