Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they have to touch it to believe.

Leftovers make you feel good twice. First, when you put it away, you feel thrifty and intelligent: 'I'm saving food!' Then a month later when blue hair is growing out of the ham, and you throw it away, you feel really intelligent: 'I'm saving my life!'

You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up.

To me the cynics are the ones in the boardrooms with the reports from the focus groups.

Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.

Heroin, forget it. In my neighborhood, I could see what heroin did firsthand and I was definitely afraid of that number.

Thall shall keep thy religion to thy selves.