I am a personal optimist but a skeptic about all else. What may sound to some like anger is really nothing more than sympathetic contempt. I view my species with a combination of wonder and pity, and I root for its destruction. And please don't confuse my point of view with cynicism; the real cynics are the ones who tell you everything's gonna be all right.

A crazy person doesn't really lose his mind. It just becomes something more entertaining.

"Fussy eater" is a euphemism for "big pain in the ass."

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance: It attempts to work things out so that everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from getting violent and trying to take other people’s stuff.

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

All patriarchal societies are either preparing for war, at war, or recovering from war.

Never forget that Hitler was a Catholic.