By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Sometimes when I'm told to use my own discretion, if no one is looking I'll use someone else's. But I always put it back.

Heroin, forget it. In my neighborhood, I could see what heroin did firsthand and I was definitely afraid of that number.

People can't seem to get it through their heads that there is never any healing or closure. Ever. There is only a short pause before the next "horrifying" event. People forget there is such a thing as memory, and that when a wound "heals" it leaves a permanent scar that never goes away, but merely fades a little. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, "Let the scarring begin.

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?

Children should be taught to question everything . . . everything they read and everything they hear.