If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life. Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.

Life is tough, then you die.

I definitely have a gift for language that is rhythmic and attractive to the ear, and I have interesting [verbal] imagery which I guess is a poetic touch.

Heroin, forget it. In my neighborhood, I could see what heroin did firsthand and I was definitely afraid of that number.