That's basically what the drive is: "I want to be famous, I want to be noticed, and I want to be approved of." That's basically what you're after. "Give me attention, give me applause, give me an audience. A. A. A. Straight As." That's all you're looking for.

Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

When someone is impatient and says, 'I haven't got all day,' I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?

I'm certainly a skeptic. I always quibble with people.

Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.

Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.