Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?

Part of the pleasure of being alive is the knowledge that you're not dead yet.

In adolescence you have to separate yourself and establish your identity. So, being very independent anyway, I took charge.

When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent.

People are dreaming if they think they have rights. They've never had rights. There's no such thing.

On the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.