I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that would happen to someone else.

Engineers at General Motors have developed a revolutionary new engine whose only function is to lubricate itself.

Everybody in America is a part of this big herd of cattle being led to the marketplace, not to be sold, which is usual with cattle, but to do the buying. And everyone is branded.

It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers.

Marry an orphan: you'll never have to spend boring holidays with the in-laws.

Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.

I don't understand why prostitution is illegal, Selling is legal, f***ing is legal. So why isn't it legal to sell f***ing? Why should it be illegal to sell something that's legal to give away?