Because Brenda [Carlin] had a drinking problem along with the coke, she had to hit bottom first. Most alcoholics do. And for her, bottom was an automobile accident that almost landed her in jail.

Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.

The worst thing about e-mail is that you can’t interrupt the other person. You have to read the whole thing and then e-mail them back, pointing out all their mistakes and faulty assumptions. It’s frustrating and it’s time-consuming. God bless phone calls.

I profess no belief in God, which by definition is true, especially if we take the accepted definition of God. But to be an atheist is to also have a belief, and have a system, and I don't know that I like that either.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.