Because Brenda [Carlin] had a drinking problem along with the coke, she had to hit bottom first. Most alcoholics do. And for her, bottom was an automobile accident that almost landed her in jail.

When I first heard the song Don't worry - be happy I realized it was exactly the kind of mindless philosophy that Americans would respond to. It would make a great national anthem along with Me first.

When you look at Earth from that one picture, the one from space, it's really a rather attractive thing. I have nothing against the planet per se. I root for the big comet or asteroid as a way of cleansing the planet. The comet or asteroid 65 million years ago is probably what gave us our opening to replace the reptiles. The greatest entertainment I have in my life is chronicling internally, not necessarily for the public, the slow dissolution of order.

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

If a man smiles all the time, he’s probably selling something that doesn’t work.

History is not happenstance: it is conspiratorial. Carefully planned and executed by people in power.

Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.