Because Brenda [Carlin] had a drinking problem along with the coke, she had to hit bottom first. Most alcoholics do. And for her, bottom was an automobile accident that almost landed her in jail.

Eventually, alas, I realized the main purpose of buying cocaine is to run out of it.

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.

I think of myself as an entertainer: I'm a performing entertainer, I'm a stand-up comic. But there's an artist at work here, too. One who interprets his world through his own filter.

Political discourse has been reduced to "Where's the beef?" "Read my lips," and "Make my day." Where are the assassins when we really need them?

Politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. You don't.