E-I-E-I-O is actually a gross misspelling of the word farm.

When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion... Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do.

Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking

The seven dwarfs were each on different little trips. Happy was into grass and grass alone. Happy, that's all he did. Sleepy was into reds. Grumpy, too much speed. Sneezy was a full blown coke freak. Doc was a connection. Dopey was into everything. Any old orifice will do for Dopey. He's always got his arm out and his leg up. And then, the one we always forget, because he was Bashful. Bashful didn't use drugs. He was paranoid on his own. Didn't need any help on that ladder.

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When I got out of high school they retired my jersey, but it was for hygiene and sanitary reasons.

In the doggie dictionary, under "bow wow" it says, "See "arf arf.""