E-I-E-I-O is actually a gross misspelling of the word farm.

I like my jokes to be built on a foundation of ideas, or at least smart observations.

One of the more pretentious political self-descriptions is 'Libertarian.' People think it puts them above the fray. It sounds fashionable, and to the uninitiated, faintly dangerous. Actually, it's just one more bullshit political philosophy.

My mother and her plans for my future. She had it all worked out. I would attend a nice college, then get a job in advertising. "You'll be one of those smart-looking fellows in their Madison Avenue suits." And I rebelled against [my mother] and her values and her plans for my future at every opportunity.

It seems to me like a perversion of talent for an artist of any kind to further the corporate structure of America or the personal interests of the morons and thieves who run it.

Singing is basically a form of pleasant, controlled screaming.

There's some invisible guy, up in the sky, who can kill you, because he loves you.