Everything beeps now.

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

I've never been quarantined. But the more I look around the more I think it might not be a bad idea.

The New Testament is not new anymore' it's thousands of years old. It's time to start calling it the Less Old Testament.

As far as I'm concerned, humans have not yet come up with a belief that's worth believing.

Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] "Look, they nearly missed!" "Yes, but not quite.

The planet isn't going anywhere. We are.