So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

Being a Dodgers fan led to my first Air Force court-martial, but that's another story.

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.

I actually was a writer who had the ability to perform his own work as opposed to a comedian who wrote his own material. So that really made me happy and changed my whole perspective.

Without the laughs, the audience wouldn't be there at all, so in that sense, yes, I am a comedian.

The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.

The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.