I'm in favor of personal growth as long as it doesn't include malignant tumors.

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

The god excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument.

I actually was a writer who had the ability to perform his own work as opposed to a comedian who wrote his own material. So that really made me happy and changed my whole perspective.

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard

I like my jokes to be built on a foundation of ideas, or at least smart observations.