The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.
A cat will blink when struck with a hammer.
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
If you're reading it in a book, folks, it ain't self-help. It's help.
I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.
Because Brenda [Carlin] had a drinking problem along with the coke, she had to hit bottom first. Most alcoholics do. And for her, bottom was an automobile accident that almost landed her in jail.