When you're high, it's easy to kid yourself about how clever certain mediocre pieces of material are.
George CarlinHow can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?
George CarlinIn TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.
George CarlinThere is nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine ... been here 4 1/2 billion years. We've been here, what, a 100,000 years, maybe 200,000. And we've only been engaged in heavy industry a little over 200 years. 200 years versus 4 1/2 billion. And we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat? The planet isn't going away. We are.
George Carlin