Hooray for most things!

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?

Language is a tool for concealing the truth. If we could read each other's minds, this would be a horror show.

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.

We [americans] are not a freedom-loving people in the beautiful, spiritual sense. We have an inspiring Constitution, but we're a hardhearted people.

I was once dancing with a woman who told me she had a yeast infection so I told her to bake me some bread.

Before they give you a lethal injection, they swab your arm with alcohol. It's true. Well, they don't want you to get an infection, and you can see their point. They don't want some guy go to hell and be sick.