There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage.

It's not in the mainstream media yet, but the biggest jump in skin cancer has occurred since the advent of sunscreens. That kind of thing makes me happy. The fact that people, in pursuit of a superficial look of health, give themselves a fatal disease. I love it when 'reasoning' human beings think they have figured out how to beat something and it comes right back and kicks them in the nuts. God bless the law of unintended consequences. And the irony is impressive: Healthy people, trying to look healthier, make themselves sick. Good!

I'm thinking of buying a church and changing it around: maybe selling crack and having a few whores in the pew.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

As powerful as anyone may claim God to be, somehow he always needs money.